Look, if this concept offends you, just skip right on over it. But I do feel that as a Christian woman, part of my duty is to honor my husband, and so I'd like to discuss ways to do that.
I choose to submit to my husband when it comes to decision-making. He is truly a wise man who really thinks things over before speaking on them, so I am fortunate in that respect. I understand many women have husbands who are less mature than they, sometimes exceedingly so. I can't speak to that. I suggest seeking counsel from clergy on how to handle that situation, and I truly am sorry for any in that situation.
I also submit to my husband as the head of my household. There have been times I have reminded baby that Daddy is in charge, then comes me, then comes him. Though children are highly valued members of our families, they are not in charge of our families. God has given that job to husbands. Since Jake is so mature, I am grateful that he has that job, and not me!
I recognize Jake is the primary wage earner, and so take care to spend our money wisely. Jake feels that as long as the bills are paid and we are making financial headway (paying off debt and building up savings), he really doesn't care what I do with our money. As he has entrusted me with allocating our money, I do want to make sure I do a good job - though he is much better with money than anyone I know! I guess I want to make him proud.
I seek to represent him well. After all, I did take his last name! Since we live in a small community from which I do not originate, but he does, then nearly everyone I know knows that I am Jake's wife. So anytime I am seen, whether in public or in our home, I am representing my husband. I do not want to look as though we are a single-income family who homeschools and stays at home a lot - though we are! I want to look well put together, not frumpy. I do this by seeking to dress well, by "putting on my face", and by maintaining a basic hygiene routine. These things also help to ensure I am physically attractive to my husband when he returns home after a long day of working hard. Similarly, I want to make sure our home and son are always presentable, for either expected or unexpected guests, or for Jake's sanity and pleasure when he walks in the door :)
I understand that many of these concepts seem outdated, but I don't believe they are. I believe the Bible is clear that wives are to submit to their husbands, as it is that husbands are to love their wives and lay down their lives for them. I am so grateful that in my marriage, that picture works both ways. I do understand it would be so much more difficult in a marriage where that is only carried out in one direction. At the very least, seek God's wisdom and guidance, and there still may be a way you can honor your husband though he is unwilling to reciprocate.
Are there any other ways you can think of that wives can honor their husbands? I'd especially love to hear from anyone in the one-way crowd, suggestions for how to be an honoring wife despite having a dishonoring or unwilling to lead husband? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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