Christmas Simplified (plus some gift ideas!)

First, y'all just have to know I'm coming at this from the perspective that as Americans, we are disgustingly rich. And yet we still over-consume, and teach our kids that more is better, and wonder why we're stressed out...

Disclaimer: I do not in any way claim to have it "all figured out". This will only be our fourth Christmas with kids, and I'm sure we have done many things wrong. So take this with a grain of salt and only apply what strikes your fancy :)

One major way I'm simplifying Christmas this year is by not having a tree. I'm sure I'll get some shade thrown my way for that. We live in a small, open concept home. While wonderful for gatherings, the openness leaves few corners into which to tuck a tree. We've somewhat recently acquired more seating (moving toward our goal of using our home as a safe refuge for all who enter, and making sure many people enter regularly; plus we're hosting Christmas this year!), which is great, but it has taken up all my options for where to place a tree. At this point, I would be shoving a big extra thing into an area I aim to keep as light and airy feeling as possible. So we will be placing an old Ikea tabletop tree on our coffee table and calling it a day. (In response to baby's question, the gifts will slide neatly under the coffee table, so no worries there) Oh, and we have tiny friends over regularly who will now not be able to destroy our tree because it is nonexistent.

I should also briefly tell you that we don't do Santa, and here's why: growing up, my parents always told me they would never lie to me. They didn't do Santa with us. Jake's family did - and still does - but when we became foster-to-adopt parents, we decided it was super important that traumatized kids know they could completely trust us. For that reason, we also don't do Elf on the Shelf. So take that as you will.

In case you were wondering, you will still be able to walk into our home and know it's Christmas. We have garland (inherited from my grandmother) hung over the kitchen sink, and strands of that same garland twisted into a minimal wreath. After Christmas last year we purchased some of those vintage-style colored light strands to go on the front porch. We will use our vintage-style white strands (also purchased after Christmas one year) to hang from the curtain rod in the living room. I'll probably put some of my favorite ornaments in a shallow decorative basket and use that as a centerpiece on our dining table. And we've got our stack of Christmas CDs - not to mention those newfangled wonders like Amazon music and Spotify - ready to roll.

However, every year, Jake and I realize we want to focus less and less on the materialism that seems to define Christmas in our culture. Last year baby got three gifts from us, plus his stocking. This year he's getting one gift from us. He's currently the only grandchild on both sides (but come April, he will no longer hold that title!), has two generous uncles who make good money, and is the only great grandchild on one side. Trust me when I say he will get plenty. I am looking forward to using our new Jesse Tree during Advent this year; I'm excited to begin a tradition that focuses more on the anticipation of Jesus's birth, than on the growing pile of wrapped gifts.

We do have a pretty fun stocking tradition: we each get $10 (plus a little extra for tax) and head to the local Dollar Tree. We spend $5 on each of the other people in our immediate family. So, I spend $5 on Jake and $5 on baby; Jake spends $5 on me and $5 on baby; and baby spends $5 each on me and Jake. So the total we spend on stockings is less than $35, it's so much fun, and everyone - regardless of their income - gets to pick out and purchase for everyone else.

Now on to those gift ideas I promised you! My very favorite tangible idea is a Fair Trade Friday subscription. The recipient gets cool gifts in every box, and each purchase supports artisans who are then able to continue making their goods rather than work in a dangerous factory or, even worse, fall victim to human trafficking. Probably the best option of all is to simply choose something from the Samaritan's Purse (or similar) catalog, and donate in honor of your loved ones. We plan to do this with our parents and siblings from now on.

Lastly, I'll mention a fun idea we had last year. Jake and I are fortunate enough to have a young family all around, so we go to 4 Christmases - one for each set of grandparents - in addition to my immediate family, his immediate family, and the 3 of us. So, for one of our Christmases, each household was to bring a favorite game - it didn't even have to be new! - wrapped and ready for Dirty Santa. When Dirty Santa was over, we then spent the time we formerly spent opening gifts by playing some of the games. At the end of the day, each household left with a new-to-them game to enjoy. So if you're looking for a way to focus less on gifts, but still get to enjoy opening something, give this a try.

Are these ideas too Scrooge-like for you? If so, how do you balance focusing on the true reason for the season, while still celebrating like everyone else? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

it's party time!

My second 30th birthday is coming up, so I figured it was as good a time as any to go on a holiday break. I may pop in once or twice, but other than that, I'll be back to regular posting in 2019! Enjoy cuddle season with your loves, and eat lots of delicious food :)

old person stuff

Ughhhh I'm learning how to live as an elderly person since my first 30th birthday was last year. And I am strugglin'. But I wanted to share a few things I've discovered so I can hopefully help out you youngsters and become a laughingstock for you really ancient people (like, y'all who are 35+).

I found this moisturizer at WalMart with SPF and retinol, and I was like, well fine I guess I need you. It does kind of burn and make me peel a bit but that's normal? To kill off old person skin and reveal the baby smooth skin underneath? Regardless, I can only stand to use it when I'm not putting on makeup after. When I need more moisture, I've been using a Garnier 3-in-1 day cream/ night cream/ mask that's vegan (so like completely all-natural, right). It's more of a gel than a cream, and it feels wonderful on my face. However, after I run out of both of these, I'm planning on trying just straight jojoba oil for awhile. I've ventured too far from my all-natural roots and need to edge my way back. But: acid and SPF. Good for old people.

I have attempted to broach the subject of body piercings, but Jake says I'm too old to get my nose pierced, so that mid-life crisis desire will just have to pass. Am still afraid of needles. Which also means no tattoos.

We did get our mini-van right before my first 30th, so I'll count that as my hot rod of choice.

In all seriousness, I'm taking better care of myself in general, which is good... yet I still feel much worse than I did when I was 17 and ate whole pizzas and bags of white powdered donuts by myself and weighed slightly more than a paper clip, but c'est la vie.

So what are some tips on aging gracefully? I'd love to have some to implement before my next 30th birthday, which is coming up very soon.

world travel on a budget

Put on your imagination caps and bear with me for a bit.

I will not tell you how to visit every continent in one year with $20; however, I will share some of our (very basic) secrets for whetting our travel appetites without going broke.

funding: There is just not room in our regular budget to include a vacation fund (plus, the temptation to tap into it during tight times would be too great), so we rely on our tax refund. I know, I know, we're just letting the government borrow our money interest-free; but hear me out. We aim to get our deductions as close as possible to the point where we owe nothing and receive no refund - but we always err on the side of receiving a refund rather than owing. So basically, our tax refund is our vacation fund every year.

mindset: I have had this discussion with multiple people, which tells me it's somewhat of a hot topic (on the subject of vacations, anyway) - to have a "regular" place you visit, or go somewhere new every time? We choose the latter. If we had unlimited funds, and chose to spend some on vacations, we'd probably enjoy one of each every year. But since we don't - and even if we did, we wouldn't spend it on vacations when there are hurting people in the world - we have to make the choice. In 50 years, we want to have visited 50 new places...how cool would that be?! Occasionally one or both sets of parents will take a beach or lake trip, to which we are invited, and in that case, we do get to experience both types! (parent-funded, by the way) Otherwise, we stick to our one-new-place, and enjoy trips to visit one of our brothers and his wife who live on a lake about an hour away :)

lodging: the free-est way to go is to stay with friends or family (we did this when visiting San Antonio). The next cheapest/safest/most reliable is probably air bnb. We tried this for the first time when we went to Philadelphia recently and were very pleased. You could always go the cheap motel route, but considering that our trip to DC included a room beside some "ladies of the night", we are a little burned out on that option for awhile.

food: this is mine and Jake's favorite part of visiting a new place - trying out the local cuisine! We try to steer clear from chain restaurants if at all possible (unless it's a chain we don't have here in the southeast US). So how do we keep costs down? On our trip to DC, we discovered a little crepe shop, where we ate breakfast every day. We ate suppers closer to our motel, and boxed up leftovers if we had them. We ended up being able to skip purchasing one whole meal because we ate leftovers. In San Antonio, we stayed with my brother and his wife, so we ate home-cooked meals about half of the time. And were introduced to Rudy's which is how I gained back all the weight I had lost in previous months. In Philly, we took poptarts and fruit so we would only have to purchase two meals per day. Of course we had to have Jim's Philly cheesesteaks as one of said meals.

transportation: to DC, we took the Amtrak because we knew we didn't want to drive around once we got there, and it was going to cost to park at our motel. We loved the Amtrak, and we love public transportation. To San Antonio we drove (!), splitting the driving between the four of us who were drivers - my parents, Jake, and I. It wasn't bad at all. My brother and sister-in-law drove us around wherever we needed to go, and there were only a couple of times one of us "foreigners" had to drive somewhere. We lived. We drove to Philly as well, but used public transportation and our own feet to get us around (except for one night when we drove to see a Phillies game). My recommendation is, if it will add no more than 50% to the travel time, look into whether it would be cheaper/more convenient to take an Amtrak. Bonus: kids think it's cooler than riding in a car. I have yet to master the cheap flights finding skill, but since I personally get motion sick and nauseated VERY easily, I prefer to stay closer to the ground :) As far as getting around while you're there...only vacation in destinations where public transportation is reliable, or where everything is within walking distance. I don't want to get lost in a new city with only myself (or my guys :/ ) as tour guide. Kids also think subways are very cool.

sightseeing: choose a destination with many free options! DC is, of course, a prime example, but San Antonio was surprisingly good for this as well. Knowing we would be taking this trip early the next spring, the guys all ended up with tickets to a Spurs game for Christmas. Other than that, we walked the river walk, saw the Alamo, and semi-toured the joint bases where my brother works. We also took a day trip to Fredericksburg which I highly recommend! Loved it there. In Philly we only went to free things (except that Phillies game), and though we missed out on what I'm sure are excellent sights, we got to see the Liberty Bell, and walked around a giant library, and in general learned the layout and different sections of the city by sometimes accidentally walking 15 blocks and also sometimes accidentally riding the wrong bus or the right bus going the wrong direction. Baby also ran up the Rocky steps, and we took pictures with the Rocky and LOVE statues.

souvenirs: don't buy 'em. Take pictures, maybe buy a few postcards, but really, souvenirs are overrated. In Philly, we did buy baby a Rocky t-shirt, a couple of sizes too big, that he will be able to enjoy for years to come. And against my usual minimalist ways I purchased a LOVE magnet. But you know what? Our memories - especially those stories about getting lost and discovering parts of the town we probably shouldn't have ventured near (yes, this did happen in all cities) - will be with us forever.

budget: I'm finishing up back where we started to encourage you. Each of our trips have come in at under $1500 for anywhere from 5-11 days. They were actually closer to $1000 each. You can do this! Live a life of adventure :)

don't waste your money...

...on things you can make with less effort, less money, and more healthfulness! (is healthfulness a word? we'll say yes.)

Today I just wanted to share a short list of things you should be making/doing that are E-A-S-Y and will save you a few pennies.

broth: Every time you cut up vegetables, or even peel them, do NOT throw away the "scraps"! I keep mine in a Tupperware-type container in the freezer. When the container is full, dump into a big pot, cover with water and a pinch of salt, and simmer all day. Put just the liquid into mason jars (if you do this while hot, the lids will seal). When cool, pop in the fridge; I always label mine because I'm cool like that. Et voila! You have FREE veggie broth. I guarantee it's got less sodium than store-bought, and takes nearly no effort at all. While you're saving up your veggie scraps, if you come across any bones, put those in your "broth bucket" in the freezer too. Then, you'll end up with bone broth - even more nutritious!

cast iron skillet: cook with one of these instead of taking an iron supplement. I mean, I'm no doctor, so if you're super deficient, you should probably ignore my advice. But, if you just take a supplement to be safe, why not try cooking with cast iron? It infuses iron into your food, and therefore into your regular diet. They really are not hard at all to maintain or even to season if you need to. I was fortunate enough to inherit one from my grandmother, but if you need to go out and purchase one, check thrift and antique stores first for pre-seasoned options.

multi-purpose cleaner: one cup white vinegar, one cup water, 20-40 drops essential oil of choice (consider lemon, lavender, tea tree, YL thieves, or DoTerra onguard). I will not claim this cleaner is 100% effective in getting rid of every germ on the planet; however, for a general multi-purpose cleaner, it's so cheap, so easy, and healthier than breathing in chemicals. (Keep in mind that even "natural" cleaners are not always as clean as they claim to be!)

So there you have it, three easy peasy lemon squeezey ideas for you to begin using today!

favorite blogs

I always go through cycles of which blogs I am obsessed with at the moment, so this list may change :) But today I just want to give you a short list of some current favorite blogs to follow. In order of how frequently I stalk their archives.

A Small Wardrobe is the one I've been into the most lately. This is probably due to the 28-day minimalist wardrobe challenge she offered for the month of September. I tell you what, my closet is one area I thought I had conquered! But I was wrong. At the beginning of every post, she lists how many articles of clothing she has, how many pairs of shoes, and how many handbags. Those numbers are inspiring. My ultimate wardrobe goal is to have a similarly low number of high quality items, that will work for at least 3 seasons and multiple situations because of their versatility. And to have each of those items be so perfectly "me". Maybe I'll document my journey at some point.

The Daily Connoisseur has held my attention for many years. Jennifer is the embodiment of the atmosphere I strive to create in my home and home life. She draws her inspiration from her semester abroad in France and from her travels to Europe now as a wife and mother. Her style is not mine, per se, but her attitude is. She also has 3 books I love and I am eagerly awaiting the release of her 4th!

If the first blog I shared is my wardrobe inspiration (size-wise, not style-wise), and the second is my attitude inspiration, The Nesting Place is my interior design inspiration. I loved her first book, as I read it during a time when I was low on money but high on time, and the book spoke about making the best of your current situation and doing what you could. Her second book releases on my birthday! And I've already preordered it, as it is all about my most favorite of her topics. By preordering the book I was given a free pass to take her 4 seasonal classes and they. are. my. fave! "Cozy minimalist" is a phrase she coined; it's basically those of us who are drawn to the simplicity of minimalism, but to whom spartan just doesn't feel homey. Enter cozy minimalism - using the fewest number of items to create the biggest impact, and not having so much stuff that our people and activities can't move around comfortably. I have learned so much from this blog!

So oops, I said this would be short. Sorry. But tell me: have you read these blogs? Or any similar?? I always love finding new ones, particularly (these days) about minimalism. Share any ideas in the comment section below!

if all is vanity, then why create a vanity table?

Back to some semi-serious stuff here. But bear with me.

A few posts back, I wrote about how the things of this world don't matter and will all pass away, but what we do for the glory of God and His kingdom are eternal. Then I went and posted on Insta a picture of the vanity area Jake built me. So why the contradiction between my words and my actions? Well, I don't think it's a contradiction exactly. Let me explain.

I've shared a bit about my struggle to maintain good mental health. To be honest, the late winter and early spring of this year were actually pretty dark for me. I was physically sick all the time, which made me not want to go places out of fear, which led to more sickness because of that anxiety. I finally went to see someone, and am on some awesome meds at the moment. But once the medicines got into my system, and I could see a light at the end of the tunnel, I realized that I could put on some big girl panties and help my own self out a little.

So I scheduled a hair appointment (my first professional one in like a super long time) - cut AND color! And eyebrow wax! I started getting my nails done again. And I asked a friend who always looks amazing to teach me how to put on makeup like a grownup (as opposed to my previous middle school-level knowledge).

It's important to note - and I'm asking for your help in keeping me accountable! - that I, nor anyone else, can never ever let outward beauty define us. Not that I think I'm beautiful, but the pursuit of outward beauty can never be my end goal. However, I'm sure almost everyone in my life can tell a huge difference in my moods now.

I also don't ever want to rely solely on medicine for healing. My first step is always to go to the ultimate Physician. He may (as in this case) remind me that He created doctors and their brains for a purpose, and that it's perfectly ok for me to go to those specialists and receive their help. And He may also prompt me (as in this case) to put in a little effort. I have a husband I want to honor; I have a son who is watching me to learn how a godly woman, wife, and mother handles and carries herself; and I serve a God Whom I represent to the world.

So basically, I started spending a little time on my appearance because it helps me feel like a woman, like I'm worth it, because I am. And so are you.

clean 'em off!

I LOVE a clear surface. I really do.

Though I consider myself an aspiring minimalist, there is still SO. MUCH. STUFF. hanging around my house all the time. Recently I went on a Pinterest voyage for all the minimalism task lists I could handle, and began with the easiest to implement.

I went room by room and cleared off each and every surface in that room. I mean tops of dressers/armoires/nightstands, shelves, coffee and end tables, dining table, counters, etc. Every single surface. I completed one room before moving on to the next, and in a matter of a couple of hours, my house felt calmer and like it could breather again.

In each room, I would clear off every surface and place all the items in one central location (my bed, for example). The first thing I looked for was anything that could be thrown away or recycled, and placed those items in their respective bins. Then I tried to find anything that was still usable, but for whatever reason I had not been using lately, and put it in a bag to sell or donate*.

*sidebar here: I have been so guilty of letting things easily pass through me and on to goodwill, but in reality, that's not at all an eco-friendly, sustainable solution. A lot of what we donate gets thrown away by the donation center, and what doesn't sell gets packed up and sold by the pound to developing nations. So not only do we pass our junk on to them, but doing so cripples their local economy. I am trying to commit to using goodwill as my last option for donating, but my first option for purchasing.

The next step I took was to see if any items still remaining could be relocated to some sort of covered storage, like a cabinet. Finally, anything that was left went back on the surface. These items were very few. All lamps stayed on their tables because I hate overhead lighting and love Edison bulbs. Two essential oil diffusers remained, and two I moved to different, less conspicuous or crowded areas.

Y'all, I love this exercise. I probably do it at least once a year. Jake actually walked in and asked if we were moving, so I did put a plant back on the kitchen counter. But other than that, my surfaces are still clear. Beautifully, gloriously clear. And ready to be used for the activities of living rather than simply as dust collecting storage spots.

So I'd love to know: Have you ever tried completely clearing off your surfaces? If you're further along in your minimalist journey, please share some tips! Or, does this sound completely crazy to you?? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

on honoring your husband

Look, if this concept offends you, just skip right on over it. But I do feel that as a Christian woman, part of my duty is to honor my husband, and so I'd like to discuss ways to do that.

I choose to submit to my husband when it comes to decision-making. He is truly a wise man who really thinks things over before speaking on them, so I am fortunate in that respect. I understand many women have husbands who are less mature than they, sometimes exceedingly so. I can't speak to that. I suggest seeking counsel from clergy on how to handle that situation, and I truly am sorry for any in that situation.

I also submit to my husband as the head of my household. There have been times I have reminded baby that Daddy is in charge, then comes me, then comes him. Though children are highly valued members of our families, they are not in charge of our families. God has given that job to husbands. Since Jake is so mature, I am grateful that he has that job, and not me!

I recognize Jake is the primary wage earner, and so take care to spend our money wisely. Jake feels that as long as the bills are paid and we are making financial headway (paying off debt and building up savings), he really doesn't care what I do with our money. As he has entrusted me with allocating our money, I do want to make sure I do a good job - though he is much better with money than anyone I know! I guess I want to make him proud.

I seek to represent him well. After all, I did take his last name! Since we live in a small community from which I do not originate, but he does, then nearly everyone I know knows that I am Jake's wife. So anytime I am seen, whether in public or in our home, I am representing my husband. I do not want to look as though we are a single-income family who homeschools and stays at home a lot - though we are! I want to look well put together, not frumpy. I do this by seeking to dress well, by "putting on my face", and by maintaining a basic hygiene routine. These things also help to ensure I am physically attractive to my husband when he returns home after a long day of working hard. Similarly, I want to make sure our home and son are always presentable, for either expected or unexpected guests, or for Jake's sanity and pleasure when he walks in the door :)

I understand that many of these concepts seem outdated, but I don't believe they are. I believe the Bible is clear that wives are to submit to their husbands, as it is that husbands are to love their wives and lay down their lives for them. I am so grateful that in my marriage, that picture works both ways. I do understand it would be so much more difficult in a marriage where that is only carried out in one direction. At the very least, seek God's wisdom and guidance, and there still may be a way you can honor your husband though he is unwilling to reciprocate.

Are there any other ways you can think of that wives can honor their husbands? I'd especially love to hear from anyone in the one-way crowd, suggestions for how to be an honoring wife despite having a dishonoring or unwilling to lead husband? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

decorating on a budget

Told you the pretties would be back soon :)

It has taken me nearly the entire six years of living in our home to get it to the point I consider perfectly represents my style/vision. I was far from unhappy leading up to this point! No, I've enjoyed every stage my home has been in. And at each point in time, I loved the look. But as I've matured - I turned the big 3-0 last year! - so has my style, and I can truly say my home is my definition of perfection.

You have to remember back to where we started as newlyweds: no money. None. We used furniture we each brought to the marriage - his from days of living on his own as a bachelor, and mine from my parents' house, mainly items I inherited from my grandparents - and we arranged what we had to best suit our desires. Over time, we used thrift store finds and (sometimes wasted money on) cheap big-box store items. 

Today our home is a mixture of family pieces, thrift store finds, handmade items, and the occasional new purchase. I say all this to encourage you that if you are starting out on this homemaking journey, and have no funds, don't fret! I'll share some tips on how to achieve the look you long for anyway.

You have a birthday every year, and Christmas comes every year, too. Share with those close to you your desire to decorate your home beautifully. If they're open to it, direct them to your Pinterest boards. You will likely get some duds, but you will also likely get some gems (or giftcards, so you can purchase your own gems). I found a gorgeous pair of Ethan Allen wingback chairs at Goodwill for $40/each, and asked my mom to get them for me for my birthday. Though $80 is an incredible price for them, I still didn't feel we could spend that much money on chairs. Mom to the rescue! Also, if you and your spouse or roommate exchange Christmas gifts, you could maybe agree to forego them one year in favor of pooling your money for home décor items.

Make secondhand your jam. If you have an eclectic style, or desire a true "farmhouse" type look, why would you want brand spanking new anyway? Old pieces have character; previously owned pieces hold so many stories; and owning something unlikely to be replicated makes for a more unique look. Our media cabinet (the third one we've owned and it will definitely be our last) used to belong to a friend who buys and sells antiques. I told her that if she ever wanted to get rid of it, to please let me know. She did. We bought it for $35, it's gorgeous and is the statement piece in our living room, and it hides the TV! 

When you can't buy, DIY. Obviously there are varying levels of skill needed depending on what you want to make, but at least consider this option. For Christmas one year I asked Jake to make me a farmhouse dining table, and drew him some ideas of how I wanted it to look. For less than $100 he made it happen. People ask us all the time where we bought it - and, by the way, we have zero fancy tools and he will tell you he's not at all skilled. Nearly anyone can do this. With some of the leftover wood, we made a coffee table (not matching - that's too expected for my style!). As I've mentioned before, we also have a beautiful pie safe that Jake's great grandpa made. He was a very skilled woodworker, so if you do have the talent and the necessary tools, try making some more intricate pieces. My brother has made some beautiful furniture, based off of items he and his wife saw and liked in stores like Restoration Hardware.

Pinterest! So maybe this one should have come first. Because ultimately, to save money decorating, you must know what you like. Make boards for the different rooms of your home, and one board entitled "mood". I have a "mood" board, and that's where I pin the looks that I love, but I just can't figure out what exactly it is that I love about them. Then go back through your boards and see if there is a recurring theme, or colors, or arrangements. I discovered that I love (what I think of as) a French-type look with lots of white, open, airy spaces, with a few beautiful antiques taking center stage. I love making the hardworking pieces beautiful, and really using my beautiful pieces. I inherited a gorgeous, ornate bedroom suite from my grandparents, and a few years ago I lent the headboard to my parents because I wanted Jake to make me a farmhouse style headboard, so the room wouldn't be too matchy matchy. Well, just recently we put our original headboard back on, and because of the abundance of white and linen in the space, the matching doesn't bother me at all. Our bedroom is exactly the "mood" I've been pinning all along.

Shop your home. Periodically, I think it's fun to go through all my rooms and "shop" for one particular area I'm focusing on. Before we got our beautiful media armoire, I tried using our nightstands, what is now the toy dresser, and baby's small Ikea dressers, all as TV stands. I really liked each option for different reasons. Remember that you own your stuff, and not the other way around, so you can use whatever you want wherever you want to achieve the look you're going for.

I hope these ideas have at least given you a starting off point for your quest to decorate your home on a budget. Just give it time. I wish I had lived in our space a little longer before I started purchasing/asking for random items just to fill a space. But hey - my decorating rejects are now sitting at the local Goodwill, and I know they will fit someone's taste! Enjoy this journey. Make your home your own personal work of art.

...let's talk about mental health.

Ok, so I know I've posted about some heady stuff lately, and here's another one; I promise we'll get back to the pretties soon! I just felt the need to address mental health here on the blog because it plays a big role in my life, therefore impacting much of what I do in my home, and I figured maybe it impacts you too.

First of all let me say that mental illness is never the fault of the person who deals with it. It's simply your brain's chemical makeup. Since a lot of mental illness has a genetic component, there is nothing you can do to prevent your propensity for mental illness.

That being said, there are things you can do to help you (and those around you) deal with it. 

Personally, mental illness runs in my family, likely on both sides. The main problem I struggle with is OCD. Thankfully mine is not bad at all; under normal circumstances I deal with it by trying to keep my stress level down and participating healthily in life - taking care of myself, spending time with ones I love, etc.

But as I mentioned a couple of posts back, this year I've dealt with more health problems than I have in a long time. That's incredibly stressful. Especially since I have OCD. The stereotype is of course that people with OCD are organized to a fault. Although that stereotype is frustrating for me - since living with OCD is much more difficult than needing to have my books in alphabetical order - in my case it is true. I tend to be a perfectionist. Being the primary homemaker plus being sick all the time do not make for a perfectly run anything. Which stresses me out. Which makes my OCD (an anxiety disorder) come more to the surface.

I won't go into details on the internet about specifically what I deal with. I will say that I have a family member who is virtually a non-functioning member of society due to OCD. I am far from that, mercifully. But since stress also adds to physical ailments, when my stress levels are high, it's time to get help.

I see a psychiatrist roughly every three months, depending on how I'm doing on my medications. And I go to therapy once a month. This is nothing to be ashamed of. So why do I feel so vulnerable typing that out?

I want to live in a world where I'm not embarrassed to tell people that I'm going to a psychiatric clinic, instead of my currently vague description of "I have a doctor's appointment". So I thought this blog was as good a platform as any to begin the discussion.

Go ahead and ask any questions you want, make any comments you want (as long as they are respectful!), and let's get to talking about this. 

creating your own in-depth Bible study

I've been working on something for awhile, inspired by some recent political events, that I thought would be interesting to share on the blog. Because I'm not nearly done - and it's honestly felt so empowering to go through the process - today I want to share with you how you can go about creating your own study of the same sort.

What I wanted to focus on for my study were the specific commands out of the mouth of Jesus as recorded in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). I've also jotted down the idea for the future to do a study on ways the early church lived the Christian life. You can choose whatever topic you want to learn more about.

Mine was pretty easy: I looked in my NASB study Bible (I could do a whole other post on why I like the NASB, but just use whatever translation you are comfortable with), opened up to Matthew, and wrote down every single statement Jesus made that was in the form of a command, all the way through the end of John. This part would be even easier if your Bible has Jesus's words in red!

Next, I looked at my long list, and marked out what was very obviously not directed to me. Please note, I wanted to be careful not to make assumptions that His commands weren't for me; so the only things I marked out were commands He made that could only apply to a specific person/time period (think "get behind Me, Satan" - I'm obviously not Satan).

Now I was left with my list of all Jesus's commands that could apply to me. I opened up a Word document and began listing the commands. If there was any ambiguity whatsoever, I sought further explanation from commentaries. I found a website where I could type in a verse, and it would pull up multiple commentaries all on one page. So I read through those, and picked and chose which descriptions made the most sense to me and/or were easiest to make applicable to my life. I copied and pasted those explanations beside the verse or passage to which they applied. I'm currently still on this step.

My goal is to end up with a comprehensive list of every command Jesus made that believers should be following - even the ones that we tend to think aren't for us, but maybe they possibly could be. Personally, I want to basically be able to "grade" myself on how I'm doing in these areas. Maybe my list could be a tool for others to see how well they're doing? I don't know. It's just a project I really felt led to undertake, and I'm enjoying/being challenged by it so much that it was worth sharing with you. I'll probably do some sort of blog series on my study when I'm done with it.

Please, please don't hear this as me saying none of us measure up and we need to berate ourselves for it! I'm using the tool to personally determine whether or not my life actually looks like it's trying to emulate the life of Christ, which is what it's supposed to do if I'm truly His follower. Think about it this way: we know from every story we've read of His ministry that Jesus spent more time with sinners than with religious leaders (it's the sick who need a doctor, not the well). Do I spend more time with sinners than with religious leaders? It's easy for us to say we know that about Jesus and think it's great; it's another thing entirely to model our lives after it.

So what do you think? Have you ever embarked on this type of study? Does something like that interest you? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

on living with a chronic illness

Sorry to be a downer...but I do want to give a better idea of why I need to "lazy genius" things sometimes. I will give the disclaimer that I recognize I have it so much better than many, many other people. I neither seek nor deserve sympathy; just want you to see what life can be like sometimes.

I have what's known as Meniere's disease, which basically means that my inner ear retains too much fluid, leading to vertigo and hearing loss. Meniere's is hereditary, but from what I understand, it sort of lays dormant until/unless something brings it to the surface. Mine was brought on by the stress caused during our first foster care placement of two violent, aggressive brothers with special needs. As a side note/additional detail, I don't have health insurance (a whole other story! maybe I'll share in another post), so that's another factor for our family.

When I "get sick", that means that the room feels like it's spinning and because of that dizziness I throw up. If you've ever seen a movie or TV show of people walking through a fun house, and the camera goes all wonky, it's sort of like that. Or sometimes worse. An episode lasts anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours, after which I am exhausted and need to sleep for at least a few hours.

So far, God has been gracious in His protection of me. Episodes usually come on slowly (over the course of 5-10 minutes), but occasionally they come out of nowhere. Only once has it happened while I was driving, and I was miraculously in a small downtown right by a parking lot, so I was able to see well enough to pull into the lot, put on my flashers, put the car in park, and wait it out. Only once has it happened at my (very) part-time job, and it was while I was sitting at a desk (versus waiting on a customer), and was able to stumble back to the bathroom. Only once has it happened at church, and I was in nursery, with a friend and another adult, so my friend was able to help me to the bathroom without leaving the kids alone. Many, many times it has happened at home, and only once when my husband wasn't there (but baby was, and he knew enough to help me to the bathroom then call Jake).

Baby asked me the other day, in tears, if I would ever get better. I told him we can absolutely pray for that, and God will absolutely answer that prayer, whether here on earth or when I get to heaven. I am not dying from this (though in the middle of an episode I may wish for that!); I am mostly a stay-at-home mom; Jake works half of the time from home; baby is old enough to take care of himself and even help me; it's really mostly an inconvenience.

So far this year, I've probably had on average 3 episodes per month. That's so easy to handle, y'all. Even though it's miserable and I'm on a ton of medicine (some combinations of which make my heart race) and I'm so beyond tired of being sick...it's not the c-word. And I have an amazing life.

The routines I have, baby's chore list, and my lazy genius homeschool method all make things run smoothly even when I'm out of commission. Baby can even make his own basic noodle and cheese lunch, and Jake is so generous to cook meals when I ask him to.

Maybe your health is excellent - and I pray it is! - or maybe someone in your family suffers from a chronic illness, whatever it may be (even mental illness, can I get an amen?), but I promise you, implementing the little routines and efficiency tips I talk about on this blog are about so much more than living a beautiful life. This world can be harsh, and our lives difficult, and infusing beauty makes it all a little more enjoyable. But sometimes these ways of living are necessary, and if/when that becomes the case for your family, I want you and your family to be equipped to not only manage, but thrive, even in the midst of your chaos.

Do you or someone you love have a chronic illness? As I'm only about two and a half years into this, I'd love to hear more ideas for how to handle it. Share what you know - or any questions you have - in the comments below!

"lazy genius"-ing classical education at home (with lots of links!)

Y'all, I am basically at heart a pretty lazy person. I work hard at my routines and schedules to make life easier for myself overall - less decision fatigue, less last-minute rushing, etc. I do prefer the term "efficient" because it makes me sound smarter, but there, I've let you in on my secret.

There is a blog or something out there called Lazy Genius, and I think this phrase sums up how I take on projects and life in general. So today I'll show you how I apply that to homeschooling. (skip to the last paragraph to get the basic idea)

We are members of a classical, Christian community of home educators called Classical Conversations ("CC"). I love the concept of classical education - which, in a very basic nutshell, is teaching to the child's developmental level, beginning with memorization, then learning about what they've memorized, then using and explaining what they've learned - and that it incorporates beautiful, virtuous subjects, such as classical music, great artists, rich history, and so much more. I also employ some Charlotte Mason techniques. I want baby to have a full, vibrant, rich education, without it being too much work on my part.

So what exactly does that look like for us?

We begin our day with a read aloud at breakfast. I found several of mine and my brother's chapter books from probably middle and early high school, so right now we are working our way through those (what you already have on hand = free!). Jake is usually still with us at this time of day, so he listens in, and as he finishes eating he leads us in a short family devotional time (currently using this great, easy, quick, thorough book).

Then baby and I will sing a hymn. Every month we begin a new one, and each week we add another verse, so that we begin with learning the first verse and end the month having learned the entire hymn. We actually don't even really sing hymns at our church, but the language and music is so beautiful, and the words so meaningful, that it's important to me that he learn them. For fine arts,
we lightly study one composer and one artist at a time, basically having music and art in the background of our day. Piano practice also counts as fine arts. And we do one art lesson per week from Art Is Fundamental - so very helpful for me, the non-artist in the family.

For math we use Saxon, which I know some find to be dry, but the teacher book literally tells me every word I need to say. If it's a concept I know he already knows, I'll skip the teaching part and just give him the drill sheet and worksheet and call it a day.

For language arts, I use a free downloadable curriculum from The Good and the Beautiful and I'll be honest, it feels like a lot. So sometimes we skip it :) Or I pick and choose what I personally want to learn and just teach him that. I have and LOVE the Moore-McGuffey readers. The first one roughly corresponds to 1st and 2nd grades, and the second one to 3rd-5th grades. These contain short stories that usually contain some sort of moral lesson. Baby likes the length, I like the beautiful language, and bada bing bada boom, reading is done. Our language arts curriculum also encourages poetry memorization so sometimes we work on that. Spelling Plus is the spelling curriculum I use, in addition to reviewing sight words included in our language arts curriculum. And lastly, for penmanship, we use a combination of resources from Simply Charlotte Mason and Classical Conversations.

For history I use documentaries or read from Story of the World or Mystery of History and for science we use documentaries, all corresponding to what we are learning in our weekly CC community meeting. For geography I have baby trace a particular map outline for several weeks, then add in boundary lines within the outline and trace that map for several weeks, then spend several weeks practicing drawing the map free hand and labeling it. Geography is only once per week. Also once a week he practices a typing lesson purchased from The Good and the Beautiful, and PE/health.

Now for the "lazy genius" part: sometimes I just do the bare minimum - review our CC memory work and show a few documentaries. At the end of each week, I prepare for the next week by putting all of the independent work he will have for a particular day into one sheet protector. I have sheet protectors labeled for each day of the week, and have them all on one of metal those opening loop thingies (you could maybe use a keychain?). On hard (for me) days, I'll hand baby the day's work, tell him to practice piano for 20 minutes and pick a chore to do, and that's it. We can always go back and review if needed. I'm not going to ruin him. It'll be ok.

Are you a lazy genius? Have any tips for making homeschooling easier? How was your summer??

school's out for summa

not really, because we school year-round. But I personally will be taking a summer break from blogging; see you back here after Labor Day! And enjoy the rest of your summer :)

dressing stylishly on a budget

Please don't let that title fool you into thinking I'm a fashion expert, because I'm not. Far from it. I prefer classic, slightly retro (think 50s/60s/70s) looks. Today we are going to talk about how to dress for your style on any budget.

Implement a capsule wardrobe. They are all the rage on pinterest and the blogosphere, and for good reason. Not only does a capsule wardrobe help to define your style and cut down on decision fatigue, it also helps cut down on the laundry mountain. Typically, the fewer clothes you have, the more you'll feel free to spend on a particular item that you KNOW will fit, as opposed to spending the same amount on multiple pieces of cheap clothing that are only so-so.

Always buy the best quality you can afford. We will all go through seasons of life when money is tighter, and then other seasons when it's not so tight. In the not so tight seasons I've enjoyed the Stitch Fix service, as well as some of my favorite ethical brands - Brass and Everlane to name a few. These high quality staples have lasted long after my loose budget did, enhancing my wardrobe with high end finds.

Stick to the basics. Though your style may be different than mine, try to stick to clothing basics when purchasing. Add flair with your accessories; they're less expensive. Buying more classic pieces to mix and match in your own unique way means your closet won't look too dated. 1998 butterfly clips and bell bottom jeans, anyone?

Thrift stores. Man oh man do I love finding hidden gems at a thrift store. You can also go the slightly more expensive, yet more predictable route of consignment store shopping. And by all means, utilize them when you need to! But check thrift stores first. Go in with a general list, such as "jeans and a few neutral colored sweaters", and see what you can find. If you find too much, remember to narrow it down using the second tip - the best quality you can afford. If Goodwill has Wal-Mart jeans and Levi's for the same price, go for the Levi's. Be sure to try on the clothes before purchasing, and check well for holes or discoloration. Chances are, if an item at a thrift store still looks nearly new, it's likely going to hold up well for you too. Keep in mind that some flaws are easy fixes. I found a pair of Banana Republic shorts at my thrift store a few weeks ago, but on one side, the hem had come undone (so you could see about an inch of what should have been folded up on the inside). Knowing I own a needle, thread, and basic sewing skills, I purchased the shorts and fixed them myself. So easy, and now I own a $3 pair of nice, classic, high quality shorts that will last me for years to come.

Kids' clothes. I would be remiss if I didn't touch on how to dress your kids well on a budget. I prefer kidizen for baby's clothes, because here too I have a particular taste that is not typically found among hand-me-downs or small town thrift stores. I like for him to dress classic/slightly European, with a bit of hipster thrown in. Kidizen sellers tend to have high quality clothes their kids only wore a handful of times (more so than ThredUp, for example). It's also super user friendly. That's always my first stop when he needs clothes. Baby does happen to be very tall and very slim, so sometimes there's only one way to go when purchasing his long pants: H&M. I know it's fast fashion and not very ethical, and I'm totally up for suggestions! It's just the only place I know where I can find pants to fit him. Their hipster style means their pants fit slim anyway, plus they come with the elastic bands to further tighten them. So if your child has a certain fit that can't be found many places, by all means stick to what you know. Just fill in with less expensive options. And of course take advantage of the old standbys - hand me downs and gifts from grandparents.

I hope these ideas will help you realize it's very possible to dress stylishly even on a budget. For your capsule wardrobe, always buy the highest quality staples you can afford, and fill in with consignment and thrift stores when the budget is tighter. Do the same for your kids (and spouse, if you're allowed!).

Just curious: do you already have a capsule wardrobe? Are there any other tips you would add to dressing well for less?

Sunday suppers

I haven't been feeling super inspired to write lately, so I figured today I would just let you in on what's been consuming my thoughts/plans/decision making lately.

Let me harken back to several years ago, when I first stumbled upon my favorite book series. In the first book, "Madame Chic" and "Madame Bohemienne" each host at least one dinner party every week. I loved this idea, so for the last two or so years I have hosted a couple of different friends about once a month for a casual dinner party.

However, in my recent readings on Christian hospitality, I've been convicted that hosting French-style dinner parties is not the same as having a hospitable heart and, therefore, an open home. Jesus's example to us was much more broad and everyday. So...

A few weeks ago, we began what we've dubbed "Sunday suppers": since we don't have church on Sunday evenings, we are offering a meal to anyone who wants to come and enjoy some fellowship. And by anyone, we really mean anyone. We would love to have the sort of community with one another that you read about in the New Testament, but this meal isn't limited to Christians.

Jake and I have both been feeling a lack of deep, meaningful relationships lately. It seems there are so many relationships which are superficial, lacking the sisterhood/brotherhood bond we'd love to share. As introverts, it's pretty difficult for either of us to initiate specific relationships. What we do have, however, is our home. And food. And an enjoyment of sharing both with others.

My meal planning sessions include leftovers for when we make a lot of food on a Sunday but don't have a lot of visitors. My grocery list includes hopefully more than enough, because I've never cooked for a big crowd before. I've been on the lookout for more comfortable dining chairs to encourage people to linger at the table - and lo and behold, I found three gorgeous black cane back chairs at the Habitat ReStore the other day. There wasn't a fourth; however, there was a wooden, armed cane back chair placed near them. So I snatched those puppies up and brought them home to beg Jake to help me redo them :) In white, of course. With drop cloth covering the seat cushions.

So far, all the Sunday suppers have been small affairs. Which has been an enjoyable and non-threatening way to begin opening our home on a regular basis. We dream of this becoming big, and having a regular community entering our home on a weekly basis. Doesn't it feel like life is too segmented today? Everyone is so busy, it's like we've isolated ourselves from other people (in real life anyway). We want to bring back neighborliness and sharing everything we have with those around us.

What do you think - would you come to one of our Sunday suppers? (if you're truly interested, we have food enough to share every Sunday evening at 6 pm, no exceptions) Have you ever hosted others in your home regularly, maybe even for a meal? Share your thoughts and experiences with us!

do it all for the glory of God

Now that you've caught your breath and have gotten over being angry about my last post, let me simply remind Christians that all we do should be for God's glory, not our own.

Only the things we do for Him will be of eternal value. Every other task will pass away, and eventually be forgotten about. But not the ways we work for His kingdom.

Scrubbing toilets to hear someone say what a good toilet scrubber we are, or to pride ourselves on being the neighborhood's best toilet scrubber, is pointless. Who cares. But scrubbing our toilets for the sanitation of our home, and thereby keeping our family and those who enter our home healthy so they can learn about Jesus, meet Jesus, and then follow Jesus...now that is valuable.

In our quest for excellence in our home and lives, let us not become too focused on our own achievements or glory, but rather let us make our homes so we can point others to our God.

Everything else is just vanity.

all is vanity

This week might be little off my usual path, but bear with me. And read Ecclesiastes if you haven't lately.

I love beautiful things, I love creating an enjoyable atmosphere in my home and exercising some nearly lost arts such as formal dinnerware, etc. However, as a Christian, ultimately this is not my home. This life is just a blip on the timeline of eternity, and we are here for such a short time. Pretty things won't go with us after we die.

In light of this, is it even ok to work at creating a beautiful home and home life? Sure. As long as that's not your end goal. I create a pleasurable environment in my home so that we may then invite others in, and be a place of respite and renewal for them. If we are ever honored enough to be "home" to a homeless person for a period of time, I don't want to slack off on the homemaking front merely because he/she isn't "important"; I want him/her to fully relax and feel like an honored guest - because he/she would be. I work to create seating areas in my home for us, but primarily to provide plenty of comfy spots for tushies to rest while they get fed.

I don't believe the Bible includes hospitality as a suggestion for Christians; I believe it's a mandate. The Bible says to care for orphans and widows. How many of us have given a home to an orphan or taken care of yardwork or groceries for a widow? Seriously, think about it. Taking care of orphans and widows is not mentioned as a task for the deacons, or the hospitality committee, or people who are "gifted" in that area. It just says to take care of them.

The Bible is full of commands to care for "the least of these" - orphans, widows, aliens, fellow believers, anyone who is hungry or thirsty or naked. Commands. It's not optional. Anything other than serving God and caring for the least of these is all vanity.

So jump in and get involved. Donate to charities that directly care for orphans, widows, aliens, or the impoverished. Become a foster or adoptive parent. "Adopt" a widow in your community to begin to care for - regularly, not just once. Fight for your government to welcome refugees - sign petitions, call your representative, run for local office yourself. When you see someone hungry, give them food. The Bible doesn't even say to try to discern whether that person holding the sign is truly homeless or if they're just needing their next fix. What another person does is between them and God; as Aslan says in C.S. Lewis's The Silver Chair, "it's not your story". Christians are only commanded to care for the hungry.

Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Volunteer with or begin a grassroots effort for your community to house refugees. Do like a friend of mine is, and build a tiny house for an organization that rescues women from sex trafficking.

Social justice is not the world's cause. It was Jesus's, and by extension, should be the cause of His followers as well. If you're not involved, you're not following Jesus. Plain and simple. You can do all the Bible studies you want, but if your life doesn't impact another person's life for the glory of God, you might as well be twiddling your thumbs. Christians, let's step up and be who we are called to be: light and hope in a dark world. It's our mission; now let's accept it.

requiring excellence in what you allow into your home

Because I love the finer things - not necessarily expensive, but worthwhile and enjoyable - I have a fairly high standard regarding what I allow in my home. My way might not be the best, and I'm not trying to put anyone with differing opinions down. But if you want to elevate your home life and your children's childhood along with it, I've got some ideas for you.

Charlotte Mason had great guidelines regarding children's books. I believe we can translate that for our modern lives to television shows as well. She warned against "twaddle" - those things children might enjoy, but are doing nothing to help their mind or heart focus on greater things. For example, I don't think she would approve of books based on popular characters, such as Ninja Turtles books or Paw Patrol books. Those types of things may not be negative, but they're not exactly rich literature either. Likewise, any television show that has some sort of catchy jingle that gets stuck in your head would likely fall under the category of "twaddle".

So what types of books, music, television shows, and movies should we allow for our children? Glad you asked. Keep in mind I am not an expert. I'm merely a mom who wants to expose her son to excellence rather than settling for ordinary.

I prefer to listen to mostly classical music with baby. We definitely listen to other genres, as well, but overall we steer clear of "kid music" because we want him to rise to the bar we set, not remain stagnant and demand things at or below his developmental level.

On our weekly library trips, I allow him to choose one or two books that I will then let him read during our daily quiet times. Beyond that, I choose what he reads for school (lately it's been Beatrix Potter) and what we read for our read aloud time (most recently, Heidi). Think of classics and you'll probably be safe. He's also read the Madeleine books, for example.

I searched high and low to find a few television shows to allow for his leisure screen time. Little House on the Prarie, Andy Griffith, Roy Rogers, and the like are mostly found on Amazon Prime for free or little cost. He genuinely enjoys these shows - and I don't have the Wonder Pets theme song stuck in my head until kingdom come. We occasionally watch documentaries for history or science lessons. He loves learning about inventors! You never know what could spark their interest if you never expose them to anything other than animation.

Similarly, with movies, I prefer to show him classics. Sometimes this means 90s movies Jake and I grew up loving, or sometimes it's older movies, or remakes of older movies. Honestly I just find that most movies today that are directed toward kids contain subjects we just aren't comfortable exposing him to yet.

Beyond the general Charlotte Mason guideline, there's a biblical one I haven't mentioned but which does hold more weight for Christians: that of thinking on only things which are good, true, excellent, or praiseworthy. Taken to the extreme, this could mean never exposing our children to fiction. I don't take it this far...but I can see why it might be a good idea. For myself, I tend to be stricter about this point. However, it's good to compare the media our children are exposed to, to this standard. Are cartoons on Nick Jr. good, true, excellent, or praiseworthy? They might be not bad but they're also not winning any Academy Awards. On the flip side, are all award-winning shows true, or praiseworthy? Remember the youth pastor's standby: Would you watch/read/listen to this if Jesus were in the room with you? Because He is.

I hope I haven't come across too harshly. I intended only to share ideas for elevating your children's media intake. If you have any guidelines you follow, please share them in the comments below. Have you given much thought to what your kids watch/read/listen to? As parents, is this something we should be concerned with? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

what I've been reading lately

I think that periodically I'll tell you about what I've read lately, especially if what I've been reading is convicting or causes me to change the way I do things. I've read a lot of books like that lately, so I figured it was time to share them.

It all started when I read Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert. It's been in my nightstand for ages, and as I have a goal to read all the books I own, I finally got to it. And boy, do I wish I had earlier. The author has an incredible story, first of all, but what hit me was her willingness to open her home to others. This is only a small part of her writing, not at all the primary focus, but I was so convicted by this that I began praying earnestly for God to show us how He wants us to use our home. And He has definitely made that clear to us!

There were a several books referenced in the above-mentioned book, so I ordered a couple that I had actually had on my amazon wishlist. The first was Making Room: Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition. This was a hard read, I won't lie. I had to read it when I could completely focus on the book. It goes through a history of hospitality in the early church, how that particular type of hospitality fell out of use, and what we can do (and why) to pick it up again. Basically, hospitality is so much more than "entertaining" guests. It's actually not that at all. It's opening your home to any and all who need it, since our homes are not ours but God's. He has given us everything we have to be used to further His kingdom. Holing up in our homes and hosting dinner parties is NOT biblical hospitality; feeding, clothing, and housing the poor is. Fostering deeper relationships between church members is. And using everything we have for His work is, most definitely, biblical hospitality.

The second book I ordered was The Lifegiving Home. I have to admit, once I started reading this, I was slightly disappointed that its focus seems to be more on creating home for your family, as opposed to sharing home with others. BUT it's good for me to read about that, too, to ensure I don't open my home to others while neglecting the needs of my family. I'm not quite through with this one, but it is a good read!

Another book I heard about (from one of the above books; I just followed a rabbit trail basically when deciding what to read next on the subject) was Open Heart, Open Home (I've linked an updated version of the one I got from the library). I love this book! She just briefly mentions - as though she assumes we must already know - that hospitality is not optional for Christians; it's mandated. We are to open our homes, and help those less fortunate, period. She doesn't sugarcoat Christianity the way it seems many modern authors do. She talks in detail about allowing the Holy Spirit to work in and through us. And she encourages us that perfection need not play a role in hospitality; in fact, others feel more at ease when they see that our homes and our lives are not perfect! I'm not even halfway through this book and already loving it.

I can't leave off without mentioning the audiobook we just finished listening to, Love Does. The author pretty much just says "yes!" to most opportunities presented to him...and as a result, has accomplished some pretty amazing things for the kingdom of God and for our world.

So, what stood out to me so much about these books? And what have I done as a result of reading them? Glad you asked. Basically, God has made a few things clear to us: generally speaking, He wants us to open our home. I don't know what specifically that will look like, but it's like He's told us, "be ready! And be willing to use everything I've given you for the work I have planned for you."

In addition, He has shown us a specific way He wants us to use our home and resources, but I'll keep that under wraps. I will share that while we were planning to implement this at the end of the summer, God very recently showed me that since I already know what He wants me to do, I just need to do it! So we are :)

This is not to be something that brings us any recognition whatsoever, but it is to be done for God's glory and His greater purpose. Why am I even bringing it up? Because I'm still kind of shocked that a few books and prayers and searching Scripture has led to such a specific revelation.

What has the Holy Spirit been laying on your heart lately? And read any good books?

elevating homeschool

To be honest, even though we've homeschooled for two years now, when I hear the word I still envision frumpy moms in long denim dresses and a million (weird, unsocialized) kids running around with too-short pants. That's not at all what I want our homeschool to be like! And probably an unfair generalization, sorry.

In order to elevate our homeschool and our days, there are a few things we have incorporated and plan to incorporate.

We belong to a Christian homeschool co-op program called Classical Conversations. There's so much information on their website which can explain the concept much better than I can, but basically, we go to "class" once a week for 24 weeks throughout the year, learn things there, and expound on those at home plus learn other things throughout the week. It's classical education, done at home.

Baby also takes piano lessons. I love for our home to be filled with music, and I think it's important for him to learn at least one instrument. Piano is our starting point.

We study fine arts at home. Going along with our Classical Conversations curriculum, we study one artist and one composer at a time. When we begin a new artist, I will set one of their pieces of work as the background on my computer. I will have baby study it for one minute, then turn around and tell me as much as he can remember about the piece. Throughout the week we will review the names of the artist and composer. At the beginning of every week, I will set a new piece of work as my background, and have him study and recall. For our composer, we simply listen to a playlist of his work in the background while we play and do schoolwork. This is a super easy and not at all time consuming way to include fine arts in our studies.

Jake is beginning to teach baby how to play tennis. Any sport you play at a country club feels fancy to me, so that's why I've included it in this list :)

And finally, I can't wait to take baby to cotillion classes! They don't begin until 5th grade in our area, so we have a few years, but I want him to learn manners and etiquette, in an environment where he will be encouraged to learn those things. I can try and try until I'm blue in the face, but as all parents know, there are some things your kids just tune out until someone else teaches them.

So these are the ways we elevate our homeschool. They also happen to help make sure baby isn't a "weird, unsocialized" homeschooler.

Do you homeschool? What do you involve your kids in? Do you prefer finer things, or is your family more casual?

establishing morning and evening routines

My morning and evening routines, when I follow them, make my days run so much more smoothly. This idea is not mine, but I've borrowed it from a few of my favorite writers/personalities. I'll share with you my routines, touch on why they're so helpful, and encourage you to create your own.

Morning

• make bed first thing! - this makes my room look so much more tidy, gives me the feeling of productivity first thing in the morning, and enables me to go to bed at night in less-rumpled sheets.
• get dressed to shoes - this is a FlyLady thing (the "to shoes" part). The idea is that regardless of whether you work outside the home or not, you have a job to do, and it deserves to be done well. So get dressed and honor your profession, and those who see you throughout the day.
• hair and makeup
• listen to Bible app while doing the above - I'm working on reading through the Bible in a year, which I've never done before! This is not what I do for my daily devotions, it's in addition to that. So it's much easier to let the Bible app read to me while I get ready in the mornings. Plus, I don't have time to do my devotions first thing, so this enables me to still begin my day with God's Word.
• swish and swipe bathrooms - another FlyLady idea - I quickly run the toilet brush around the inside of each toilet. Then, I use a wipe to quickly wipe down the sinks. I keep wipes in each bathroom (right now I just use baby wipes, because that's what I have, but when I run out I'll likely replace them with Seventh Generation multipurpose cleaning wipes). This keeps my bathrooms company-ready even between weekly cleanings.
• get diffusers started - I have 3 essential oil diffusers in my open concept living area, plus one in the hall bathroom, so in the mornings I put water and my chosen essential oil in them and turn them on. This keeps my home smelling clean and fresh all day.
• unload dishwasher
• begin supper prep - I don't always need to do anything for this one, but I like to at least know what I'm going to cook, and if there do happen to be things I need to do (set out meat to thaw, put something in the crockpot) I can go ahead and do this before anything else.

I wake up at 7 in the mornings and try to do all of these things before 7:30, when we eat breakfast. It's usually not a problem to get this done before breakfast; so though it might look like a long list, don't be discouraged! It takes such a short amount of time.

Evening

• clear and shine sink - Jake usually cleans up after supper since I cook, so I put away any clean dishes that have been left out to dry, put any dirty dishes in the dishwasher or wash them, wipe down the counters, then finally dry out the sink with the kitchen towel so it doesn't have water spots. This is a FlyLady signature task, and for so long I put off doing it. But I promise it's worth the effort! Your sink looks amazingly cleaner when dried out. After this I put the dish rag and kitchen towel in the dirty clothes, and set out a clean set for the next day.
• begin dishwasher
• set robot sweeper out and turn on - we have an automatic sweeper robot thingie, and since we have hard floors and an open concept living area, it's both convenient and helpful to run the robot every evening. This keeps floors decently clean between sweep and mop days.
• set table for breakfast - seriously, it's so nice to have this done when you wake up. Jake cooks breakfast, but always forgets things that we need when he sets the table. When I do it, everyone has napkins, water glasses, necessary meds, and utensils.
• sweep kitchen - the kitchen gets used much more than we realize throughout the day. When I wipe the counters, tons of crumbs get knocked onto the floor. Since the kitchen has a different type of flooring than the main living areas, it doesn't get touched by the robot.
• remove makeup and brush teeth

My evening routine doesn't take very long at all, either. Many parts of it can be done before baby goes to bed, which means my actual pre-bed routine doesn't even have to be as long as this short list.

It's so nice to know that when I utilize these routines, not much time is taken out of my day, but every single area of my home and self is taken care of, without even doing any sort of designated cleaning. Just try it! Add one task at a time until you get used to it, and you'll see how great it is.

Do you already have a morning and evening routine? Are they different from mine? Or are you a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of person?

a few specific resources for kids in frugal/simple/classical/whatever families

Today I want to share with you a few resources we have used/are planning to use for baby. These are things we feel have enriched his life, without draining our energy or wallets. I'll give a brief review, if you will, of each one.

• Classical Conversations: this is the homeschool co-op/community we belong to. You can read so much more elsewhere, but basically I'll just say that we have fallen in love with CC. Our first year of homeschooling we did not do CC, and the growth baby experienced when we did join was phenomenal. He has learned so much more, so much more quickly. His favorite part is that for 24 weeks out of the year, he goes to "school" (community), and has a "teacher" (tutor) and classmates. It feels to him a lot like the private school he attended when we were fostering him before our adoption (in our state, foster children can't be homeschooled). There is a low tuition cost. I put money back monthly for this so it's around $85/month the way I budget for it.

• Bible Study Fellowship: again, there's a ton more information out there, but BSF is basically a worldwide interdenominational in-depth Bible study. There is "homework" (a lesson) each week for 30 weeks. This gives accountability that you are actually studying, and it deepens your study at the same time. I was involved from ages 20-29 and only stopped because we were homeschooling, and the class closest to us (still 45 minutes away) only accepted pre-school aged children. There is no cost for BSF.

• Community Bible Study: I have never participated before, but we have registered for a class for the fall. From my understanding, it's very similar to BSF. The closest class to us is in the same city as my BSF class, but CBS has a program for school aged children as well. We will use the "homework" as baby's Bible curriculum. There are low registration fees for both adults and children. For me it was $35, and for baby it was $10.

• Wild Explorers Club: such a cool experience! Sort of like Scouts but on your own. Baby sort of lost interest after awhile, but I imagine this could have been remedied with siblings or friends to do it with. It's $14/month. We will likely join again when it's been long enough that baby will be excited to start back - and we will pick up right where we left off with his assignments and badges.

• Kidstir: my parents got this for baby for Christmas, I think it's around $30/month (too high for my budget, but grandparents seem willing to do anything for the grandbabies!). Every month, he receives a box with 3 recipes, and a new kitchen tool/gadget per recipe. The recipes are themed, like "desserts" or "soups". The box does NOT include any ingredients. When I've purchased ingredients using my typical grocery guidelines (like, organic if we eat the outside, grass-fed if possible, otherwise just cheap), it's cost $20-$30. My parents generously cover that cost as well so that it is more of an actual gift for baby and not so much an additional obligation for me. He has enjoyed getting the box every month, and shopping for the ingredients, and watching me make them :) He's a somewhat reluctant helper in the kitchen if the gratification isn't quick.

• piano/other instrument: baby just started piano lessons a few months ago, but he's got a natural knack for it. Music is beautiful, and instills character qualities such as perseverance, diligence, and excellence. For the sake of transparency: we pay $20/week for a 30-minute lesson, which is an average of $90/month, when you don't include skipped weeks because of vacation, holiday, or illness (so really $90/month is a conservative amount to budget).

• sports (one at a time!): baby loves soccer, and also plays basketball in a league our church created. But we only do one sport at a time. Neither fall soccer and basketball, nor basketball and spring soccer, overlap. And if there is ever a sport-playing sibling for baby, we will likely cut his sports down to 2 per year. For us soccer is $50/season because we aren't residents of the town the league is in, and basketball is $20. Both sports include the jersey in the price of registration.

So that's all I've got so far. What are your kids involved in? Do you have any tips for how to simplify OR expand their involvement to enrich their lives without making parents go crazy?

oh mister sun, sun, mister golden sun...

...please shine down on...well, not me, because I have fair skin and medications which make me sensitive to it. BUT today I'm going to talk about the different benefits of sunshine (or being close to sunshine but out of it directly if you're like me and "allergic to the sun" as baby thinks). You might/probably already know them, but it seems a good follow-up to our laundry discussion :)

• quick-dry clothes - have you ever hung your laundry out to dry? If so, you know that in warm weather it dries FAST! Sometimes as fast a dryer. But especially after a winter of hanging clothes inside, switching over to hanging them outside goes SO much more quickly.

• sanitizer - part of the reason I'm ok with not using hot water to wash our clothing is that it usually gets hung out in the sun. The sun (and even fresh air) can do a lot to kill germs on laundry. This is based on my highly scientific research of: it just makes sense to me. Sickness in your family? Air out the house! Germs on your laundry? Hang it outside! (See? I followed the scientific method and everything.)

• vitamin D - one time my mom got sick and the doctor said she was vitamin D deficient so she took like 1000mg capsules. The former sun worshipper literally needed some sunshine in her life! I say that not to embarrass her (sorry, Mom), but to point out that not getting vitamin D can actually affect your body. And sunshine provides vitamin D. Okay, so I do actually try to be in the sun for even just a few minutes daily. If it's a comfortable temperature and I need to go anyway, I'll walk to either the bank or post office or Dollar General or the movies (the last two are the farthest away at exactly half a mile). If nothing else, we have a sunroom and I'll sit in there.

• mood enhancer - many times, being outside just makes you feel good. It's good for your body (I did more scientific research on this one) to breathe fresh air! That first spring day when the temperature climbs above 60 and the sun is shining and a breeze is blowing...that is pure bliss. So if you're down, get outside. 

Can you think of any other ways the sunshine benefits us? Share in the comments below!

time- and money-saving laundry tips

This is what works for my family and has for nearly the whole time we've existed (as a family unit, I mean. so like 5 years). No judging please :)

1. don't sort your laundry. woo-hoo! That's all there is to this tip. Read on for why it works...

2. don't use hampers. yep. we toss our dirty laundry directly into the washing machine. the exception is that right beside the washing machine, we have a trash can lined with a cloth diaper "wet bag", into which we toss towels and linens. Read on for why...

3. use mostly cold water. when the washing machine is full, I run it. Now that I've been doing this awhile I've figured out that I typically do this every Monday and every Thursday. When that load is done, IF the "towels/linens" can is full, I then put those in the now-empty washing machine, along with sheets (whichever bed did NOT have its sheets washed most recently). I run the towels/linens load on hot water to kill germs.

4. hang dry. Nearly all of our laundry gets hung to dry. When it's warm out, I use the clothesline. If I'm doing two loads in one day, I put the towels/linens on the clothesline, and use our hanging racks for the other load. I put the hanging racks on the front porch in nice weather, otherwise I leave them inside (we conveniently have 3 hanging racks, and 3 people in our family, so I will typically hang each person's clothing on a different rack, and place that rack in their room/side of the bed). Sorry for the tackiness of hanging laundry on my front porch, but it saves approximately $0.50 per load! If it's cold but sunny, I hang the towels/linens on the front porch railings so I don't have to be outside for as long as it takes to hang on the clothesline. If it's frigid and/or monsooning, I use the dryer for towels/linens ONLY.

Some notes about why this works for us (and MAY not for you - but still try some of the tips if you can!)

We are a family of 3, all of us with smaller than average (for our demographics) wardrobes. It seems counterintuitive, but I promise I've tried it both ways and it's true: the fewer articles of clothing one has, the less laundry one generates. We tend to wear our clothes a few times before washing them - which also extends the life of the clothes, by the way. Because of these reasons, we don't have a need to do laundry more frequently.

You'll notice I only use hot water for towels/linens. Because I use cold water for the rest, color bleeding tends not to be a problem. Seriously the ONLY incident I've had in FIVE YEARS was when I washed baby's red tennis shoes in a regular load, and some of our clothes got pink spots on them. It was some underwear, and a couple (I think literally 2) of dark clothing pieces where it's not really noticeable.

I haven't figured up how much money it saves to use cold water, but I do know that every load dried by a dryer costs about $0.50, so that's up to a $2/week savings when I hang every load. Of course there are times when I've had to do more laundry, like when someone is sick or we have guests, but that's not the norm.

Each bed (our queen and baby's full) has exactly one set of sheets; we wash, dry, and replace them in the same day. We have one extra queen set (that can and has fit on the full bed) for emergencies - like if someone has an accident or gets sick in the middle of the night and no one feels like doing laundry that second.

What are some ways you save time and/or money on laundry? Would you ever or do you already use any of my tips?

meaningful decorating

I do love a good Pinterest or Instagram find when it comes to interior design. I appreciate many different styles and I love following accounts with beautiful images. I enjoy recreating some in my own home.

But what's most important to me when it comes to decorating - especially since I have a son to whom I did not give birth - is infusing meaning into our décor. I want baby to look around and know where different pieces came from, and that they're part of his story, his history, as much as they are part of mine. I want him to know who he is, regardless of his DNA. And I want people who visit our home to know who we are.

I'll share a few ways I've decorated with meaningful items in our home, and hopefully they'll spark your imagination as to how to do the same in your own home.

• use family furniture first. My beloved maternal grandparents were killed in a car accident when they were 64 and 66. They never even got to see their first grandchild (me) graduate from college, let alone the other graduations and weddings that followed. I am so grateful that I inherited a few pieces of furniture from them - namely, our Thomasville master bedroom set (my parents are from Thomasville, NC). It's beautiful. We also have a pie safe that was made (yes, made) by Jake's great grandfather. I had a friend once tell me she registered for the same piece from Pottery Barn - she was surprised when I told her the origin of ours :) If you have any pieces of furniture like that, use them all around your home before investing in other furniture. Even get rid of some of your more modern pieces in order to make room for family pieces. We use my original baby dresser in our playroom to store toys, though that's not as old as the other pieces, and we purchased an antique armoire-turned-media-cabinet from some friends. Even though that last piece isn't from our family, it tells a story.

• use family pieces as art. We have Jake's great grandfather's tobacco basket leaning against the wall on top of his pie safe. I have my grandmother's sun hat hanging on a wall. I found Jake's silhouette from when he was little in a box, so I framed it and hung it on the wall. 

• decorate with words or numbers. I made a super cheap, super easy piece of art representing our anniversary: white canvas and galvanized "Roman numerals" (really just letters) from Hobby Lobby, arranged in an eye-pleasing fashion. It hangs on our living room wall. We also have a Scripture verse handpainted by a family friend on reclaimed wood, which hangs in our dining area.

• decorate with photographs. Probably the most obvious suggestion, but for a long time I actually didn't do this. We now have some wedding canvases hanging in the sunroom/playroom, a family portrait hanging in the living room, and a gallery wall of not-as-pretty-but-still-important photos in the hallway. The last area is where I have framed a picture of my late grandparents, and my late great grandparents, as well as a picture of Jake when he was younger - because baby says "Daddy looks like me here!" I've made a point to try to take Polaroids of significant family events this year to add to the gallery wall so baby sees himself in the pictures, too. 

• decorate with other meaningful items. Jake and I have been on two mission trips to Guatemala together, and I had been on a couple when I was younger. We brought a small painting back with us one year and have hung that over the thermostat in the hallway. It displays the painting, and hides an eyesore! Win-win. I have a basket my mom gave that I think is beautiful, so it's hanging on a wall. And I'm anxiously awaiting the shipment of two hymns on canvas I ordered from a deal website. They will hang in our living room opposite the family portrait. Jake made our dining table. Baby and I made our coffee table. Neither table is perfect, but they're special.

How do you infuse meaning into your home décor? Is it important to you to display your family's heritage?

on enjoying daily rituals

Do you find yourself singing, Cinderella-esque, as you dance into your apron and bend down to scrub a toilet?

Yeah, me neither.

But there are ways to find pleasure in the little tasks we do each day. And personally, anything that makes chores more enjoyable is something I'd like to sign up for.

We all have rituals, whether we intend to or not. The first step to enjoying our daily rituals is being more intentional with them. Do you wake up to kids screaming they're ready for breakfast, then rush downstairs to pull out whatever boxes of cereal still have something more than crumbs left in them? If that's you, I imagine your day doesn't get off to a pleasurable beginning. During this season of life you're going to have to be more intentional.

Wake up before the rest of your family. Do what it takes to make this happen. Go to bed earlier. Make your kids stay in bed later. Baby used to wake up wayyyy too early. We nipped that in the bud by getting him an alarm clock and telling him he wasn't allowed out of his room until it went off. Eventually (it really didn't take very long), his body got used to that, and now I can control when he gets up. Obviously make it reasonable - he doesn't go to bed at 6 and get up at 9.

That's all much easier said than done, but this post isn't about creating rituals (there are plenty of other blogs and posts to discuss this, and maybe I will sometime); it's about enjoying rituals. So set you up some and let's go.

The easiest thing to say is that certain things are necessary, and we should enjoy that we are able to do them. Like scrubbing toilets. When you catch a stomach bug and have your head in the toilet, you don't want to remember that it's been a year since you convinced someone else in your house to clean it. You want to think about keeping your hair back, and rest (somewhat) easy knowing that at least you aren't getting toilet germs on you.

But that still doesn't quite address the issue. It all boils down to your attitude. And believe you me, I can have a stinkin' one with the best of them. But ultimately, I recognize that I have chosen homemaking as my job, and I always want to do an excellent job. I try to teach baby to do excellent work on all his schoolwork, not just when I'm standing over him or reminding him. As a Christian, I am to work as if I'm working for God Himself - because I am. It's a happy bonus that my family and I get to live in the clean home afterward.

I have set days that I do certain housekeeping tasks. I like this better than trying to do one big clean in one day. It makes it feel like I really don't have to do all that much. I highly suggest FlyLady if you are having trouble keeping up with basic household tasks. She will help you set up a schedule and stick to it. Doing the same thing on the same day of the week every week also takes out the guesswork. At this point I always know on Mondays I'll need to clean bathrooms, and on Thursdays I'll do a thorough clean of the kitchen. I don't even have to think about it. And if you have kids - involve them!

Sometimes I'll play music, or sometimes I'll secretly challenge myself. "Let's see if I can get glistening tubs by the time baby finishes his math worksheets!" Such a thrilling life I lead. But these things get the job done, and a job done and done well are really where the pleasure comes in.

When guests come to my home, I never (ok, rarely) have to wonder if the hall bathroom is presentable, or if the house stinks from the trash piling up. Having set up my rituals and them becoming second nature, things like that are just naturally taken care of. If we want to have a dinner party, we maybe change out the hand towel and run the vacuum over the main floors really quickly. Ten minutes, tops, and my home is ready to entertain.

So I get the satisfaction of productivity, my guests feel welcome, and my family feels at home. That's really all I want out of this homemaking job, anyway.

Do you have certain daily rituals you dread? Or if not, share your tips for enjoying all the little necessary tasks!

setting up a functional, beautiful, simple kitchen

Oh, how I wish there were a manual for first-time on-your-owners. There probably is, but since you're here, I'll save you the trouble of looking for it. Here's the basics of what I wish I had known when creating my wedding registry/using wedding gift cards/agreeing to take other peoples' castoffs.

I'll do this two ways. One, for those who have never set up their own kitchen or are registering for a wedding, things like that. The other, for those who have established kitchens they wish to streamline.

You might want to read through both lists to see if any ideas apply to you.

For the new (or new-ish) homemaker:

1. Do NOT register for or purchase everything you think is cool or beautiful or you might possibly someday use. Preferably, try living with just what you already have kitchen-wise. Use your old college dishes and ask for giftcards to the stores you'd like to purchase from.

2. Think in terms of, what is the least I could get by with? Personally, I came to the marriage with TWO sets of china from my grandmother. I was also given a set of dishes (for which I did not register) at a shower. There was never any need to purchase more dishes than that.

3. Think about what kind of foods you like to eat or, more accurately, cook. Are you a gourmet chef? We have friends who love to cook new and exciting things, so for them, cooking really doubles as entertainment. They spend way more on groceries than we do and have way more gadgets. But they fully utilize all of that.

4. Place things in "zones". Dishes near the dishwasher for easy cleanup, pots and pans near the stove, etc. Of course keep all like things together.

That basically sums it up. Live with it before adding.

For the established homemaker:

Try to imagine you're moving into an RV for the next year to travel the world like you've always dreamed. And now...

1. Pull EVERYTHING out of your kitchen cabinets and drawers. Don't leave one single thing in them. Put it all on your dining table so you can really see how much you have. You may have to work in shifts to accomplish this - all upper cabinets, then go back and repeat the steps with lower cabinets, for example.

2. Sort by type. All dishes together, all cookware together, all trash in the trashcan.

3. How much of each do you really need? Really? If you are a family of three and never entertain, or only ever entertain up to 10 people, guess how many sets of silverware you need. No more than 10. Do this with every. single. category.

4. What do you rarely use that you could get by without? I hated seeing our microwave sitting out on the counter, so I decided to temporarily remove it (to the basement) to see if we could live without it. That was five years ago.

5. Seriously, go do the last two steps again, thoroughly. When you're done, begin putting things back into zones. Like items together.

6. Make sure you have room in your cabinets for things you used to keep on the counter. Clear counters are such a breath of fresh air. We keep out our dish soap, small compost bin (mainly to remind us to use it), utensil crock, and knife block. A bowl of fresh fruit usually lives either on the counter or kitchen table. Just try clearing off EVERYTHING and then only adding back what you find you reach for multiple times throughout each day.

7. Keep your counters and sink wiped down. Periodically you'll want to try the 100% clear counters trick, to ensure you haven't let too much creep back into sight.

Remember, it is both ok and desirable to use your best every day. I love using my china, even if it means we have to hand wash the dishes. Jake broke a plate a few months ago and felt so bad, but I assured him that my hardworking sharecropping great grandmother who probably saved up for over a year to purchase that set from her local grocery store - she would have been sickened to think of them just sitting around collecting dust. One getting broken means it was being loved.

Do you have any other ideas on how to set up a kitchen? Are you a kitchen minimalist or kitchen maximalist?