gratitude part 5

October 2010

Taylor, 

       This notebook contains 200+ opportunities to hold everyday, ordinary expressions of gratitude for gifts from God. Your challenge these next 3 days is to recognize and pen (1 per page) at least 100 gifts for which you're grateful.

Love,

Mom

grapes off the vine - fun fact that you might already know: sweet wines are made from grapes that taste kind of sour/bitter off the vine; dry wines' grapes are pretty sweet off the vine. My favorite in both grapes and wine is merlot. mmm.

Panera cinnamon crunch bagel - haven't had one of these in awhile! That needs to be remedied. Who's with me for a trip to the nearest Panera (which is probably like 45 minutes away)?

soccer - so at that time in my life, I was regularly playing pick-up games with only one other female, and the other players were Hispanic males. My game definitely improved! These days, I'm too old for all that, but I'm quite the enthusiastic cheerleader at the local U11 league games.

my sweet, beautiful, kind, caring, young mom - *ahem* and why am I still not your favorite, mama?

Nanny Mee Maw - this makes me smile :) My mom's best friend since the 1st grade, my "nanny mee maw" has been a second mom to me my whole life. I just love her.

my sister Megan - my younger cousin, Megan, and I are only 14 months apart. Our moms are sisters. We're like sisters. She's now an attorney and lives in a big city so I sometimes live vicariously through her...she's the best!

Chapel Hill - I could not care less about sports, by the way. Megan was at UNC when I turned 23, so I would visit her, and LOVED walking around Chapel Hill. I should probably make my family go along with me to enjoy the town again.

my little brother Brooksie -  aww. He had recently joined the Air Force at the time, and was stationed at Lakenheath in the UK. Now he's stationed in San Antonio, but currently deployed. I miss him like crazy. He can be kind of a pill (no offense, baby brother!) but is always sweet to me...and he's pretty cute as an uncle now!

hard-working dad - yep. The man is 58 and has no plans of retiring anytime soon. Throughout my life he's always held at least one job, many times two, to enable my mom to stay home with us, and help us through school, etc. And he's the best grandpa!

cheerwine - and we end the day on a sad note :( I can no longer have caffeine, and since I especially loved Cheerwine in the glass bottles, that's out for me. There is a such thing as caffeine-free NOT DIET Cheerwine, but it's hard to find. Usually I have to settle for caffeine-free diet, which is not the same, and I can't even get it as a fountain drink.

So that last one doesn't seem too grateful. Ooops. I am so glad I got to have 28 years with the pleasure that is glass bottle Cheerwine, and I long for heaven where it will surely be served in much larger glass bottles and running through fountains to load up on at will. I hope you'll be there with me, so if you're not sure, ask me about Jesus.

gratitude part 4

October 2010

Taylor, 

       This notebook contains 200+ opportunities to hold everyday, ordinary expressions of gratitude for gifts from God. Your challenge these next 3 days is to recognize and pen (1 per page) at least 100 gifts for which you're grateful.

Love,

Mom

Y'all, I'm so sorry, but for the sake of honesty: I'm censoring out the first one on today's list. I was (and am!) thankful for a particular group of people, but I fear the way I worded it could come across as disrespectful. So just know I'm thankful for people :)

People watching - still a favorite pastime! (Try sitting in the drinking section at a race track; it's where the fights happen!)

Chick flicks - who doesn't appreciate a good rom com every now and then??

Diamonds - ha! Did I even have any back then? But yes, I still love them!

Exhaust fans - I currently live with three males. I'm especially grateful for exhaust fans (and windows that open).

Musical cards - well, when I can enjoy them at my leisure. Not when children open and close them over and over.

Kitten heels - listen to my stylish self! Kitten heels really are perfect. (Don't tell my 23-year-old self that I'm now also a devoted wearer of both clogs and Birkenstocks)

Plumping lip gloss - um, that mess hurts. I'm much more comfortable in my own skin these days.

Febreeze - yes, I prefer mainly all-natural products. BUT. Febreeze is one chemical-laden carcinogen I'm not sure I could do without (again: I currently live with three males. Plus a dog.)

Cleaning products - I'm more of a Mrs. Meyers fan now than a Lysol one, but yes, ya girl does love a home cleaning aisle.

I'm so curious to know -- have any of you kept track of what you're grateful for? Have you paid attention to how that's changed (or not) over the years?? Do tell in the comments below.

gratitude part 3

October 2010

Taylor, 

       This notebook contains 200+ opportunities to hold everyday, ordinary expressions of gratitude for gifts from God. Your challenge these next 3 days is to recognize and pen (1 per page) at least 100 gifts for which you're grateful.

Love,

Mom

one glass of red wine after a long day or week or month or year (or year and a half) - well, alcohol is now a trigger for me to have a vertigo spell, so this one's out. But for a long time, that one glass of red wine sure was a welcome way to wind down.

soft rugs - ooh, yes! Although my child and my dog are now more important, and therefore I can't have soft rugs in my home.

beige - I prefer white now, but neutrals in general are my jam.

lists - obviously, these are still relevant to my life. It feels really good to check them off :)

full-time job - at that point in my life, absolutely. That was back before children could stay on their parents' health insurance until age 26; so at that time, if you were no longer a full-time student, a full-time job was a good way to ensure you had health coverage. Nowadays I'm a full-time stay-at-home mom, which has longer hours and no pay, but the eternal rewards will far outweigh all of that anyway.

heat - yep. Although now that I'm older, I hate the drying effect that electric heat has on my skin. I mainly prefer moderate temperatures in my near-middle-age.

rain - boy do I love rain! My favorite used to be when it was sunny and raining at the same time, which still makes me smile, but I really appreciate a good, dreary, rainy day for its perfect book-reading atmosphere (and, let's be honest, its Netflix-binging qualities too).

my baby pillow - wherever did that thing end up anyway :( I must have donated it at some point during a decluttering whirlwind. It was silky and baby-sized and apparently I kept it for at least 23 years. I miss her.

Burt's Bees - oh, I do wish I had elaborated more! I don't remember being especially loyal to the brand then, but I'm currently in the process of switching all my makeup products over to this brand. It's mostly natural and easily available. So yes, I do still love Burt's Bees.

"reality" television -- entertaining! - I haven't watched a ton lately, but occasionally I'll get the hankering for some Toddlers and Tiaras or Three Wives One Husband. It's so fascinating how and why people live in such radically different ways.

Join me next time for more traveling through my little gratitude time capsule!

gratitude part 2

October 2010

Taylor, 
       This notebook contains 200+ opportunities to hold everyday, ordinary expressions of gratitude for gifts from God. Your challenge these next 3 days is to recognize and pen (1 per page) at least 100 gifts for which you're grateful.

Love,
Mom

This message was written on the inside front cover of a little notebook my parents gave me on my 23rd birthday. Today I'm continuing to share those blessings I wrote down, explaining along the way how they still apply to my (now very different) life.

Photographs - still one of my favorite forms of artwork (my favorite is sketches, but Jake refuses to draw for me). I have primarily photographs hanging in my home; my favorites are black and white, or very muted colors.

Photography - this is one skill I really wish I had. Just for me. I have a Polaroid (the original kind!) that I love to take pictures on, but the film is expensive, and I'm horrible at it, so I don't do that very often. Maybe I should just take pictures anyway, for fun, and then one day I'd be decent?

Desks - I especially love old, cleared-off ones. Like, just keep your stuff in the drawers, people! But let's be honest, momming doesn't leave much time or space for such luxuries as sitting down and spending hours on written correspondence, or writing manuscripts, or the like.

Vanities - well, let's just say I love the idea of vanities. The concept of having a designated space to get ready for the day, to be feminine for a little while, and to store all your pretties. BUT. Living in a small home, I much prefer having the space available to, like, walk in. I've even already taken down my vanity I told you about a few months ago.

Bathtubs - at this point in my life I will specify that I mean free-standing bathtubs. Because now that I've lived with people - *cough cough* children - I 100% do NOT like sitting down to soak in a tub that has been who-knows-what in. Also, cleaning showers/tubs is my least favorite cleaning task of all. So I will save the luxurious soaks for when I'm again in a quaint little bed and breakfast that has a separate tub and shower and which I do NOT have to clean :)

Bubble baths - ha! See above.

Sweets (i.e. Oreo Cakesters) - um... who even knows what those are?? I'm guessing I discovered them at that little grocery store I visited on my weekend birthday trip. Nowadays I still LOVE sweets, but I'm really trying giving up refined sugars for good, because my 3*?-year-old metabolism is not quite the same as my 23-year-old metabolism was.

Food which is easily available to me - ok, now we're onto a topic that better lines up with my (hopefully) less-selfish older self. Did you know there's a famine in Yemen? And that
while accounting for the current levels of Humanitarian Food Assistance (HFA), 17% of the population analyzed (about 5 million people) are in IPC Phase 4 (Emergency) and 36% (about 10.8 million people) in IPC Phase 3 (Crisis). Of greatest concern are the 65,000 people in IPC Phase 5 (Catastrophe). Overall, this constitutes 15.9 million or 53% of the total population. It is estimated that in the absence of HFA, about 20 million people or 67% of the total population (including Internally Displaced People - IDPs) would be in need of urgent action to save lives and livelihoods. This includes 240,000 people in IPC Phase 5 (Catastrophe), i.e. threefold the actual number. [source: reliefweb.int]
So, yeah, I'm still so very grateful for my ridiculously easy access to food.

Jewelry - to wear - wow, so what was going on in my mind that I would jump from something so altruistic to jewelry?? Because when I say "jewelry," I do in fact mean fine jewelry. I do really appreciate artisan jewelry, especially when I can support someone like a single mother in Africa, but other than that I'm kind of a jewelry snob. Sorry. It comes from working for so long at the nicest jewelry store I've ever seen. I will say, though, that a recent (to me) sermon by David Platt was pretty convicting on this front, and I am much more aware of how show-offy my jewelry has the potential to seem. Not to mention, when I'm reminded of all the hurting in the world, I can't in good conscience spend a huge percentage of our income on such frivolous things.

Flowers - to arrange - At one point in my young adulthood, I worked at a flower shop. I actually even looked into buying a flower shop of my own, and being a full-time florist. That's still a dream of mine, if I ever need or want to own my own business. But for now, being a wife and mom and homeschooling is about all I can handle! (but here's a free tip: always go for a huge bunch of the same kind of flower. Fuller arrangements look more expensive, as do arrangements of all the same flower, unless you're an amazing florist. I love flowers from Costco, Trader Joe's, and even Wal-Mart. Just steer clear of mixed arrangements, especially when some of the flowers have been dyed an unnatural color!)

So now I'll again leave you with the Scripture printed in the bottom corner of every page of my notebook:

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10

gratitude part 1

October 2010

Taylor,
       This notebook contains 200+ opportunities to hold everyday, ordinary expressions of gratitude for gifts from God. Your challenge these next 3 days is to recognize and pen (1 per page) at least 100 gifts for which you're grateful.
Love,
Mom

That note was penned on the inside cover of a little notebook my mom gave me for my 23rd birthday, when I was sent away for a weekend alone at a cute little bed and breakfast. (See my last post for more details!) Today I'll begin sharing what some of those blessings were back then, and how I feel about them now (hint: most of them are still applicable). Enjoy!

Places with history - yep. Still love 'em. Some of my favorite vacations have been to London, DC, and Philly.

Good-smelling bath products - I definitely still appreciate these, though I rarely take baths anymore (our only bathtub is in the kid bathroom, and I just can't bring myself to share a tub with children!). I'm also much more a fan of natural products than intensely perfumed ones.

Cute downtowns - I'm sure I was thinking of the town I stayed in that weekend, but I hope I also recognized the town I lived in at the time, Gibsonville, NC. It's super cute! And I currently live about a mile away from downtown Elkin, NC, which has been featured on some "Best downtowns nationwide" type lists.

Bed and breakfasts - other than the small, one-bedroom, family-friend-owned one we stayed in the first two nights of our honeymoon, that weekend alone was the only time I've stayed in a bed and breakfast. Need to remedy that ASAP!

Hospitable people - the bed and breakfast owner in 2010 was super friendly, but these days I'm thinking more along the lines of those people who really mean it when they say "stop by anytime"! They're my heroes :)

Lace - sometimes it just takes my breath away. Done tastefully, of course. There's a fine line between granny-chic and granny-overkill.

Fireplaces - ahhhh, yes. Some dreamy moments in my life have been the times I've curled up by a fireplace, irresistible book in hand, breathing in the homey aroma and sound of burning wood. This is definitely one I need to get back in my life.

Weekends alone - well, this one has changed a bit. I still love love love solitary time, but now I consider time with Jake to be better. So when I say "alone," just mentally translate that to "with only Jake."

Neat, clean rooms - YES! This has always been true for me, and I imagine it always will be. Like, my heart literally skips a beat.

Indoor plumbing - ha! Funnily enough, it was only after this trip that I experienced using not only outhouses, but latrines. And now living in a rural area, I've been working on my behind-the-bushes skills. But considering I've never had to do so in the freezing cold, I'll say, sure: I'm still grateful for indoor plumbing ;)

Well that seems a good one to end on! I'll leave you with a Bible verse printed in the bottom righthand corner of every page in my little notebook:

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. 
John 10:10

gratitude doesn't have an expiration date

Guys. While KonMari-ing (mostly for real this time) my house, I found a little notebook my mom had given me on my 23rd birthday - my "golden birthday," because I was born on the 23rd. That year, my parents gave me one of the very best gifts I've ever received: they sent me on a weekend alone at a bed and breakfast out of town*. They didn't even tell me where they were sending me. They just put the address in the GPS and sent me on my way, with a basket of fruit, a little cash, and some other goodies in my backseat.

I ended up in a small town about an hour or so away from where we lived, but somewhat near relatives - they weren't dumb enough to send my still-knowing-everything self too far away from safety - to this adorable, historical bed and breakfast. My room was actually what had been an original entire house, complete with original front door and fireplace. It was half a block down the street from the bed and breakfast's "main house," where they served breakfast, so that made it feel even more private (though the house I was staying in had been added on to, so there were more rooms in my same building). The first night I was there, I walked to a little grocery store around the corner, and purchased a few necessities for my stay.

And did I mention my birthday is in late October? So every morning, I would wrap up in cozy clothes, and make my trek to the main house for breakfast. There was always a perfectly crisp chill in the air in the mornings. When I was done eating, I would wander around the cute downtown area. I found a little giftshop and an art studio I really liked, so I frequented those.

Let me interrupt my reverie to go back and tell you about the notebook I found. I guess my mom had tucked it into my little goody basket. In the front cover was written a message that went something like: "In this notebook, there is space for writing 200+ blessings for which you're grateful. Your challenge over the next three days is to come up with 100 blessings, and write one on each page." How cute is that?? And, sure enough, on the following pages I found (most) of what I had written...

"Most" because, for some reason, there are only 97? But the notebook is full. All I can guess is that I tore out some of the pages later (maybe they were related to old beaus?). But anyway, when I found and read the notebook, I thought, WOW. This book is almost a decade old, and I'm still grateful for every single thing. They are all still applicable to my (very different) life today (fun fact: it was less than three months after this trip when I met my now-husband). So it just blew me away that, hey, gratitude doesn't have an expiration date. Maybe that's not quite the perfect phrase to reflect what's in my head and heart...but I don't know what is. I just thought finding the notebook was pretty cool.

So, I want to take you on a journey with me through my little book, a few blessings at a time. It'll be such a fun way to start off the new year :)

There are so many questions I could pose to you: What has been one of your favorite gifts? Have you ever taken the time to write down what you're grateful for? What do you think of maybe doing some sort of time capsule thing - like making a list of blessings every year, and opening them up and re-reading every year or ten years or even just saving them for your descendants to find sometime after you're gone?

*I actually ended up being pretty lonely that weekend. At that point in my life, I was working full-time, yet still living with my parents. I thought they made me feel smothered, so the gift of alone-ness felt so perfect. But once I had been away about 24 hours I realized that I really wanted to share the weekend and its luxuriousness with someone. And I really missed my mom. So I begged her to come join me, and she did, and her presence made the trip so much more special. That weekend was probably what began the rebuilding of the relationship I had so nearly destroyed during my teenage years.

mamas, this new year, resolve to quit making so much work for yourselves!

Listen, I know we love our little munchkins, but I just cringe when I see the majority of parents around me doing things for their kids that the kids are easily able (or easily trainable) to do themselves. So let's discuss, shall we?

The Smart Mama's New Year's Resolution Guide

1. Quit putting away your kid's laundry. Occasionally I will hang baby's church clothes for him, only if I've just finished ironing them. Otherwise, he puts away his own laundry. Sometimes I even (gasp!) make him take it off the drying rack - or out of the dryer - and both fold and put it away himself. But it's like, magically, I have less work. And I get less frustrated when I happen to see inside his drawers, because I know it wasn't my hard work and time gone to waste when everything is wadded up in there.

2. Quit doing all the cleaning. Seriously! Baby is 8 and at this age, is fully capable of cleaning the entire house, top to bottom, on his own. I might need to remind him what that entails, but as far as the actual work, he can do it. Get your little ones their own broom and start 'em early. Your older ones can stand on a step stool to reach the upper cabinets when they empty the dishwasher. Practically anyone can load a dishwasher or hand wash dishes. Bigger (7 years-ish and up) kids will enjoy you watching over them as they add detergent to the washing machine, and reminding them which buttons to push and knobs to turn. It's pretty simple: just teach them, learn to be ok with imperfection, and your job becomes easier. Not to mention, if you're sick and unable to do housework, said housework doesn't have to be postponed until mama is better.

3. Quit caring for the younger ones' needs alone. At 6, baby learned to make a bottle with formula, and how to properly hold a baby for feeding, so he could help with his little cousin. At 8, he has become interested in learning how to change diapers (safety note: we only allow baby to change boy diapers, and specifically those of his little cousins. we've taught him that daddies are the only boys who change a little girl's diaper). If your older ones are girls, they might become interested in "baby duty" even earlier. Baby's help has been invaluable to me, especially when his second little cousin was born, and I was nannying a one-year-old and newborn. Let your older ones help out with - or even take over - some of the tasks you're used to doing in caring for the younger ones. Make it a little easier for yourself!

4. Quit carrying all their stuff. Before we began homeschooling, baby went to a very small private school. All the parents parked and walked their children into school in the mornings. I kid you not, baby was the ONLY one wearing his own bookbag and carrying his own lunchbox. He was in first grade. Some of the parents had multiple children, even including infants, to wrangle, and still carried their kid's bookbag and lunchbox. Y'all, bookbags are worn on their BACKS. The kids don't even have to exert any effort. And lunchboxes aren't super heavy, even when you pack with reusable glass containers. Give the kid some responsibility and stop being an enabler. You'll thank me when they're older :)

So, what do you think? Would you be able to have your kids take on some responsibility to make your life easier, or even just manageable? Please tell me there's someone out there who is as "mean" to their kids as I am to mine!